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The Ideal Man list
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Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year dear internet. I hope you have as good a year as I'm going to have! 2010 is going to be the best year of my life so far (going to be hard to do but we will!)!!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
A loser, I am.
I started this blog with the intentions of getting all of those crazy, messed up, can't-really-tell anyone-else-for-fear-they-will-put-me-in-a-padded-room ramblings I have go through my brain on a daily basis, out of my brain and somewhere where they can be appreciated. Solely by me, of course. I could put the thoughts into little virtual cages, like little thought birds and come and visit them at random times. Like, when I was feeling lonely or when I wanted to see just how messed up my brain is at times.
However, my 20 week pregnancy ultrasound seemed to ruin all of those happy thoughts for me. The idea that my son could die at any second from a chromosomal defect that he may or may not have, sort of threw a perpetual wrench into things. My brain being the most affected. But, now that he is here and is healthy (did I mention that he's HEALTHY?!) and does not have said chromosomal defect (again, HEALTHY!!) I am finding it easier to come out of my emotional barricade and slip back into my lively-self. Thank you Lord again for letting him be healthy.
Since my fear of losing my baby is subsiding, my happiness meter is starting to rise again (Once a Sims Freak, always a Sims Freak). I am smiling and laughing alot more and I've even started doing the crazy baby talk. Best of all, my crazy thoughts and ideas are coming back. Love it. I hadn't realized how awful and cold I had felt until I started feeling better. When I blurted out to my husband this morning to stop stressing out the crazy woman, I knew right then that I was back.
Don't know if it was the hormones leveling themselves back out or it's finally starting to sink in that he's here and he's ok OR if him laughing at the crazy sounds coming from his own butt and looking at me like "Where's the duck?" that brought me back. I'm going to go with the duck. Why? Because it's funny and it's happening right now.
So, since I'm back, it's time for me to start blogging again. I might not be the same but I'm armed with a brand new inspiration. Quack Quack.
However, my 20 week pregnancy ultrasound seemed to ruin all of those happy thoughts for me. The idea that my son could die at any second from a chromosomal defect that he may or may not have, sort of threw a perpetual wrench into things. My brain being the most affected. But, now that he is here and is healthy (did I mention that he's HEALTHY?!) and does not have said chromosomal defect (again, HEALTHY!!) I am finding it easier to come out of my emotional barricade and slip back into my lively-self. Thank you Lord again for letting him be healthy.
Since my fear of losing my baby is subsiding, my happiness meter is starting to rise again (Once a Sims Freak, always a Sims Freak). I am smiling and laughing alot more and I've even started doing the crazy baby talk. Best of all, my crazy thoughts and ideas are coming back. Love it. I hadn't realized how awful and cold I had felt until I started feeling better. When I blurted out to my husband this morning to stop stressing out the crazy woman, I knew right then that I was back.
Don't know if it was the hormones leveling themselves back out or it's finally starting to sink in that he's here and he's ok OR if him laughing at the crazy sounds coming from his own butt and looking at me like "Where's the duck?" that brought me back. I'm going to go with the duck. Why? Because it's funny and it's happening right now.
So, since I'm back, it's time for me to start blogging again. I might not be the same but I'm armed with a brand new inspiration. Quack Quack.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Rayce Emmetts Birth Story
I was going for a VBAC and I had been contracting off and on for 2 weeks with only a gradual change. My C-Sect was scheduled for 10/29 but they wanted to give me every chance at a natural so I went to the Dr on 10/23 and was only 1cm. She tried to strip my membranes but wasn't able to do much.She told me to come back in on 10/27 and we would try again. When I went back, I was 3-4 and she was able to strip my membranes and stretch me. OUCH. I went home and about 7:30 that night I started having contractions at 8 min apart. They weren't painful in any way so I ignored them. They continued all through the night and the next day. I was getting frustrated because they weren't getting any more painful or closer together. I just knew that I was going to end up having that planned c-sect which I did not want.
The next day about noon, (while I'm scrubbing the kitchen floor with a wash cloth. Don't ask) I get the brilliant idea to call the Dr office and tell them what was going on. Dr tells me that I need to come in and be checked. Gah! This is what I DID NOT WANT TO HEAR. I had things to do and Rylee had to be picked up at 2:15 so how was I going to manage that. I called my step mom to tell her what they told me. She told me to call them back and ask if it was really necessary. I called them and they said that since I was going for a vbac, I needed to come in and be put on the monitor just to be sure. My step mom said she would pick Rylee up and for me to go. I told her that I wouldn't be that long, they would just put me on the monitor for a bit and then send me home. I called Jeremiah to tell him what was going on and that I was going to go and be checked. I still had things to do so I took my time.
I finished cleaning the few things that I needed to and took a shower. The whole time I'm getting text messages and phone calls from the girls at Jeremiahs office. They are seriously freaking out that I'm about to drive myself to the Dr office while in labor. I assured them that I was NOT in labor, this was a false alarm just like every other time for the past 2 weeks and they were just going to check me and send me home. They are telling him that he needs to drive home and pick me up and take me to Beaufort because things could happen so fast and I could be driving when it did, etc. etc. Sorry, but I'm just too independent for that and I can handle and emergency if it arises. Keyword here, IF. He starts freaking out and I can hear in his voice that he's about to have a nervous break down on the phone. So I decided I needed to leave the house before they freaked him out any more and convinced him to come and get me and I had no way to get home when they told me that the contractions were all in my head.
So, at 2pm I finally left and I drove myself to the Dr office. When I got there I just wave at the lady in the window and sit down. (Weekly Drs visits from 30wks makes you recognizable) At this point I am sitting in waiting room with all these other pregnant women when the front desk lady asks me why I'm there because there was no appt. I am just giddy at the fact that I get to announce: "Norton stripped me yesterday, I've been contracting regularly and they want me on the monitor." (the simple pleasures, lol.) Well they rush me back to the back and get me hooked up. I am, in fact, contracting regularly at 8 min apart.
Dr. Mitchell checks me and I am 4-5. Woohoo! She also says that it's time for me to go to L&D. You're lying. I told everyone that I would probably be sent home! It's not time to have a baby yet! This baby doesn't want to come out on his own! Don't you know this? The way my luck runs, I'm going to have to have a c-sect without getting the chance to labor any! Silly Dr! OH, you're serious? L&D? Ok, well I'll go over and get hooked up to their monitor, but in 30 min when my contractions stop again you can send me home so I can finish doing everything that needs to be done before I really have to be here. I'll play along for now.
So on the long walk to L&D next door, I call my step mom to tell her and then I call my poor on-the-verge-of-heart-fail
At 4pm Dr Mitchell comes over and asks if she can break my water to see if we can get things to move along. I agreed but I had to wait for Jeremiah to get there. I call him at work at 4:01 and at 4:07 he was there, in my room. Any other time it would have taken slow poke 15 minutes or better to get there and then another 10 to park. She comes back at about 4:40 and breaks my water. A few minutes later things start getting serious. I remember asking Jeremiah to look under the sheet to make sure the towels were still under my butt to catch the fluid. He got this funny look on his face. Apparently the rest of my plug (a huge blob) had come out and was sitting on the towel and I didn't know it. I laughed so hard at the fact that I finally got him to gag! It was really really gross looking.
My contractions were still pretty far apart but they were now painful enough Things continued that way until about 6 when all of a sudden my contractions went from about a minute long and 8 minutes apart to 90 seconds long every 2 minutes. I didn't even have enough time to recover from one before the next one started. Where my previous incision is started burning furiously with every contraction and I felt like my insides were about to rip open. I couldn't breathe. It felt like I had a gas bubble so big it was about to explode. No matter what position I got in, or how hard I tried to concentrate and breathe through it I couldn't. They were coming to fast and too hard. I was so worried that this was the start of a uterine rupture. That's when I noticed that, still, some of the contractions were not showing up on the monitor.
So here I am seething in pain and I don't think anyone believes me because there is NOTHING on the monitor. I'm in tears because it hurts so bad and poor Jeremiah is about to have broken fingers. After so long I just can't take it anymore and request the epidural. At the same time is when they notice that Rayce is having minor decels with every contraction (even at during the contractions that "aren't there.") They think that maybe if I can relax during the contrax, that it will help with his decels. At 7:30 they bring in the anesthesiologist. (They had to fix my epidural pump first because it was acting up, machine 3 that has malfunctioned.) I am trying so hard to sit still through my contractions but holy cow, ouch. He's also talking to the nurse the whole time and it feels like he is taking forever. I'm moaning and crying and feeling like my insides are ripping apart and he's talking about football. I wanted so badly to scream at them to shut up and get that needle in there already but everytime I went to open my mouth I'd have another contraction. Good thing too because it wouldn't have been too smart to curse at the guy with the giant needle in your back.
Finally it's in and starts to take effect (even numbed my right arm). I notice that I can still move my toes and legs and still feel the pressure of the contractions minus the agonizing pain in my gut, which I thought was great. They also put in internal monitors and those contractions I was feeling but weren't showing up, were FINALLY showing up. They were not pretty at all. By this point my contractions were about 1min45sec long and still 2 minutes apart. Now the pressure that I had been feeling before started getting worse. I kept telling them that I felt tons of pressure in my butt. She checked me and I was only at a 6. Way too early to be feeling pressure. For the next 30 minutes or so, the pressure in my butt turned to pain. With every contraction I felt so much pressure in my rear that I would cry. I kept saying that it feels like I'm about to birth him out of my butt. They assured me that he was not coming out of my butt, but I begged to differ. His heart rate was still decelerating with the contractions and at 8:30 Dr Mitchell came in and told me that he was still having decels. I agreed that I didn't think he was tolerating the labor very well and neither was I. She said that she thought a c-sect was in order and I agreed. It was time to get this baby out.
They brought the anesthesiologist back in to dose me up again for the surgery. This whole time I'm steady texting. Jeremiah was outside smoking and when he came back in he had no clue what was going on. When he comes back in they hand him some scrubs to put on. He puts them on and then sits in the handling labor well, we're having a c-sect right now. We'll be holding him in like 15 minutes." He gets this funny look on his face and says Ok so off we go. They get me strapped onto the table and start. I feel tons of pressure while they are doing it and get nauseous a few times. Finally I hear him cry. Jeremiah stands up and takes a few pics. I'm so happy I'm in tears. Dr Mitchell shouts out that he's perfect which makes me cry even harder. I tell Jeremiah to go see him and a few seconds later he comes back holding this precious little miracle. After having such a rough pregnancy, they let Jeremiah hold him and sit next to me for a few minutes for me to check him over and talk to him.
I felt pretty special. I couldn't wait to get to hold him. I even stayed awake the entire time they were sewing me up. I was joking and laughing with Dr Mitchell, the girl on my left and the guy standing behind me the entire time. They wheeled me to recovery (I was the only one in there) and I was joking with the nurse in there. She massaged my belly and it didn't hurt like I remember it hurting with Rylee so that was good. I could wiggle my toes the whole time (even during the c-sect) so I thought that that might get me out of recovery faster. My only problem was my right arm. It had absolutely no feeling whatsoever and at first I couldn't move it at all then slowly it got to where I could move it but not open my fingers. I went to scratch my nose and punched myself in the face. It was quite comical. Not sure exactly what time I got released to my post partum room but I wasn't in recovery that long.
I finally got to hold my little monkey and was so happy to finally see him and love on him. The anxiety of this whole pregnancy has left me feeling very unsatisfied and empty but I was so glad that he was finally here and I could physically SEE that he was ok. You can't imagine the relief and the weight that was lifted off my shoulders in that very second. Afterwards, the monitors in my postpartum room didn't work, they brought in one of the pulse/temp machines that wouldn't work at all and had to get a different one, the leg massagers that they put on your legs to keep blood circulating stopped working 10+ times and they changed everything out of the machine to finally get it to work, my IV pump stopped working and lastly when I went for my class they couldn't get the Tv to work. Every machine in that hospital broke on me! So that's it. The only thing I'm really upset about is that I don't have one single picture of me holding him in the hospital!
The next day about noon, (while I'm scrubbing the kitchen floor with a wash cloth. Don't ask) I get the brilliant idea to call the Dr office and tell them what was going on. Dr tells me that I need to come in and be checked. Gah! This is what I DID NOT WANT TO HEAR. I had things to do and Rylee had to be picked up at 2:15 so how was I going to manage that. I called my step mom to tell her what they told me. She told me to call them back and ask if it was really necessary. I called them and they said that since I was going for a vbac, I needed to come in and be put on the monitor just to be sure. My step mom said she would pick Rylee up and for me to go. I told her that I wouldn't be that long, they would just put me on the monitor for a bit and then send me home. I called Jeremiah to tell him what was going on and that I was going to go and be checked. I still had things to do so I took my time.
I finished cleaning the few things that I needed to and took a shower. The whole time I'm getting text messages and phone calls from the girls at Jeremiahs office. They are seriously freaking out that I'm about to drive myself to the Dr office while in labor. I assured them that I was NOT in labor, this was a false alarm just like every other time for the past 2 weeks and they were just going to check me and send me home. They are telling him that he needs to drive home and pick me up and take me to Beaufort because things could happen so fast and I could be driving when it did, etc. etc. Sorry, but I'm just too independent for that and I can handle and emergency if it arises. Keyword here, IF. He starts freaking out and I can hear in his voice that he's about to have a nervous break down on the phone. So I decided I needed to leave the house before they freaked him out any more and convinced him to come and get me and I had no way to get home when they told me that the contractions were all in my head.
So, at 2pm I finally left and I drove myself to the Dr office. When I got there I just wave at the lady in the window and sit down. (Weekly Drs visits from 30wks makes you recognizable) At this point I am sitting in waiting room with all these other pregnant women when the front desk lady asks me why I'm there because there was no appt. I am just giddy at the fact that I get to announce: "Norton stripped me yesterday, I've been contracting regularly and they want me on the monitor." (the simple pleasures, lol.) Well they rush me back to the back and get me hooked up. I am, in fact, contracting regularly at 8 min apart.
Dr. Mitchell checks me and I am 4-5. Woohoo! She also says that it's time for me to go to L&D. You're lying. I told everyone that I would probably be sent home! It's not time to have a baby yet! This baby doesn't want to come out on his own! Don't you know this? The way my luck runs, I'm going to have to have a c-sect without getting the chance to labor any! Silly Dr! OH, you're serious? L&D? Ok, well I'll go over and get hooked up to their monitor, but in 30 min when my contractions stop again you can send me home so I can finish doing everything that needs to be done before I really have to be here. I'll play along for now.
So on the long walk to L&D next door, I call my step mom to tell her and then I call my poor on-the-verge-of-heart-fail
At 4pm Dr Mitchell comes over and asks if she can break my water to see if we can get things to move along. I agreed but I had to wait for Jeremiah to get there. I call him at work at 4:01 and at 4:07 he was there, in my room. Any other time it would have taken slow poke 15 minutes or better to get there and then another 10 to park. She comes back at about 4:40 and breaks my water. A few minutes later things start getting serious. I remember asking Jeremiah to look under the sheet to make sure the towels were still under my butt to catch the fluid. He got this funny look on his face. Apparently the rest of my plug (a huge blob) had come out and was sitting on the towel and I didn't know it. I laughed so hard at the fact that I finally got him to gag! It was really really gross looking.
My contractions were still pretty far apart but they were now painful enough Things continued that way until about 6 when all of a sudden my contractions went from about a minute long and 8 minutes apart to 90 seconds long every 2 minutes. I didn't even have enough time to recover from one before the next one started. Where my previous incision is started burning furiously with every contraction and I felt like my insides were about to rip open. I couldn't breathe. It felt like I had a gas bubble so big it was about to explode. No matter what position I got in, or how hard I tried to concentrate and breathe through it I couldn't. They were coming to fast and too hard. I was so worried that this was the start of a uterine rupture. That's when I noticed that, still, some of the contractions were not showing up on the monitor.
So here I am seething in pain and I don't think anyone believes me because there is NOTHING on the monitor. I'm in tears because it hurts so bad and poor Jeremiah is about to have broken fingers. After so long I just can't take it anymore and request the epidural. At the same time is when they notice that Rayce is having minor decels with every contraction (even at during the contractions that "aren't there.") They think that maybe if I can relax during the contrax, that it will help with his decels. At 7:30 they bring in the anesthesiologist. (They had to fix my epidural pump first because it was acting up, machine 3 that has malfunctioned.) I am trying so hard to sit still through my contractions but holy cow, ouch. He's also talking to the nurse the whole time and it feels like he is taking forever. I'm moaning and crying and feeling like my insides are ripping apart and he's talking about football. I wanted so badly to scream at them to shut up and get that needle in there already but everytime I went to open my mouth I'd have another contraction. Good thing too because it wouldn't have been too smart to curse at the guy with the giant needle in your back.
Finally it's in and starts to take effect (even numbed my right arm). I notice that I can still move my toes and legs and still feel the pressure of the contractions minus the agonizing pain in my gut, which I thought was great. They also put in internal monitors and those contractions I was feeling but weren't showing up, were FINALLY showing up. They were not pretty at all. By this point my contractions were about 1min45sec long and still 2 minutes apart. Now the pressure that I had been feeling before started getting worse. I kept telling them that I felt tons of pressure in my butt. She checked me and I was only at a 6. Way too early to be feeling pressure. For the next 30 minutes or so, the pressure in my butt turned to pain. With every contraction I felt so much pressure in my rear that I would cry. I kept saying that it feels like I'm about to birth him out of my butt. They assured me that he was not coming out of my butt, but I begged to differ. His heart rate was still decelerating with the contractions and at 8:30 Dr Mitchell came in and told me that he was still having decels. I agreed that I didn't think he was tolerating the labor very well and neither was I. She said that she thought a c-sect was in order and I agreed. It was time to get this baby out.
They brought the anesthesiologist back in to dose me up again for the surgery. This whole time I'm steady texting. Jeremiah was outside smoking and when he came back in he had no clue what was going on. When he comes back in they hand him some scrubs to put on. He puts them on and then sits in the handling labor well, we're having a c-sect right now. We'll be holding him in like 15 minutes." He gets this funny look on his face and says Ok so off we go. They get me strapped onto the table and start. I feel tons of pressure while they are doing it and get nauseous a few times. Finally I hear him cry. Jeremiah stands up and takes a few pics. I'm so happy I'm in tears. Dr Mitchell shouts out that he's perfect which makes me cry even harder. I tell Jeremiah to go see him and a few seconds later he comes back holding this precious little miracle. After having such a rough pregnancy, they let Jeremiah hold him and sit next to me for a few minutes for me to check him over and talk to him.
I felt pretty special. I couldn't wait to get to hold him. I even stayed awake the entire time they were sewing me up. I was joking and laughing with Dr Mitchell, the girl on my left and the guy standing behind me the entire time. They wheeled me to recovery (I was the only one in there) and I was joking with the nurse in there. She massaged my belly and it didn't hurt like I remember it hurting with Rylee so that was good. I could wiggle my toes the whole time (even during the c-sect) so I thought that that might get me out of recovery faster. My only problem was my right arm. It had absolutely no feeling whatsoever and at first I couldn't move it at all then slowly it got to where I could move it but not open my fingers. I went to scratch my nose and punched myself in the face. It was quite comical. Not sure exactly what time I got released to my post partum room but I wasn't in recovery that long.
I finally got to hold my little monkey and was so happy to finally see him and love on him. The anxiety of this whole pregnancy has left me feeling very unsatisfied and empty but I was so glad that he was finally here and I could physically SEE that he was ok. You can't imagine the relief and the weight that was lifted off my shoulders in that very second. Afterwards, the monitors in my postpartum room didn't work, they brought in one of the pulse/temp machines that wouldn't work at all and had to get a different one, the leg massagers that they put on your legs to keep blood circulating stopped working 10+ times and they changed everything out of the machine to finally get it to work, my IV pump stopped working and lastly when I went for my class they couldn't get the Tv to work. Every machine in that hospital broke on me! So that's it. The only thing I'm really upset about is that I don't have one single picture of me holding him in the hospital!
Rayce Emmett: 10/28/09 @ 9:56pm. 6lbs 12oz; 20.5" long.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
HE'S PERFECT!!
Rayce Emmett Dennen aka "Remmy" was born Wednesday October 28th at 9:56pm via C-Sect. He weighed 6lbs 12oz and was 20.5" long. Best thing is: He's absolutely perfect in every single way. Thank you Lord so much for giving us a healthy, beautiful baby.
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Monday, June 8, 2009
The results are in:
My stupid computer is being so slow today! I have literally been sitting here for an hour trying to respond to posts and upload pictures! gah this this is driving me nuts....anywho.....
We had our BIG U/S today!!!!!!!!! Baby would NOT sit still at all. The tech wasn't able to get a side profile or an umbilical cord shot because the baby would not stop moving! I did however get some really good u/s pics of the face and of the nether regions...my baby is proud of it's looks and it's anatomy!
First off let me say that when they did the u/s they found a small sac of water on the baby's brain. Dr told me not to worry because the rest of the baby looked perfect. 99% of the time, the sac will disappear and there will be no harm (she even said that her daughter had 2 water sacs and turned out fine) but it could be an indicator of Trisomy 18. She said that generally, physical abnormalities and kidney problems that accompany Tri 18, our baby had neither (like I said they said the baby looked perfect other then the small sac) but they want to make 100% sure so they are sending me to the Medical University in Charleston for a level 2 ultrasound in the next week or two. So, pray for us and our bean that everything turns out fine. The good thing is MUSC has a 4D U/S machine! So that should be exciting.
Now! For the main event!
Baby wouldn't sit still, but did let us get some face shots....here is baby with it's hand to it's head:
This next one is my fave! We got to watch baby blinking!!! This one is with baby's eyes wide open! You can see the Iris (or whatever it's called) (I turned it so you could see better)
Finally, baby was so proud of it's parts!! It's a..................
BOY!!!! Rylee is stoked! She said "He's got a yittle weenie!" Here is another shot:
Also, our cat is apparently not as excited as we are...I took this pic just before writing this.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Milestone Reached
I finally felt *Carlos move from the outside last night! I was lying in bed when he started soccer practice and I put my hands under my belly and waited. A few minutes later I felt a little poke. Yay! I screamed at my hubby and then *boom* I felt a harder nudge! I screamed at my hubby again to feel. Of course the baby refused to move once hubby got his hands positioned. 1 point for team mom! Carlos didn't want daddy in on his little achievement, all for mommy!
I can't wait til he really gets started!
I can't wait til he really gets started!
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